Today's VSA: When giving a compliment, do just that. Give a COMPLIMENT. Do not add a justification or reason why. That pretty much negates the compliment, leaving the receiver feeling kind of like shit.
Here are a few examples:
*you look great, for your age.
*you're pretty, for a (insert race here) girl.
*you can't possibly be (insert age or age) looking like that.
*you're a really smart (insert race) girl
*you're the sexiest (insert race) girl I've ever seen
Get my point? Just say she is attractive, smart, sexy, whatever...without adding anything else. The so-called justification implies that you believe someone of my age/race/whatever can't be whatever you're supposedly complimenting. It's a form of prejudice, to be brutally honest. One of which you may be completely unaware you are perpetuating. It means that somewhere inside, you feel the need to justify to YOURSELF that it's ok to find that person attractive/sexy/smart/etc, DESPITE their age or race. This justification is for you....she doesn't need to hear it. You, however, need to look to self and recognize what compels you to do it.
Try this instead:
*You are a (insert adjective of choice, ie: pretty, sexy, beautiful, smart, funny) woman.
SO SIMPLE. And will leave her feeling great! Bonus, if you're trying to hit one her, I promise you will get better results!
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